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One can remained dry-eyed through a whole series, but when something happens to the dog...

One remains dry-eyed throughout a whole series but when something happens to the dog…


Bits and bobs I wrote on my laptop as usual.

Award week
The Bafta for Best Actress goes to… Dowager-Dame-Maggie-Smith
A few of her corkers this week include:
‘He’s a man! Men don’t have rights’
‘A lack of compassion can be as vulgar as an excess of tears’
‘You’ve made me regret my confidence – do have some cake’
Not to mention her tear-inducing ‘I’ll miss Mrs Crawley’ scene. If Julian Fellowes spent half as much time developing the other characters as he does the Dowager, we might have a show not worth criticising at all. But that would be very dull indeed. So on that basis, as you were old Fellowes…

The Fat [plot] Controller
In the inaugural performance of Romeo and Juliet in the film Shakespeare in Love, Joseph Fiennes (as Shakespeare) convinces Tom Wilkinson (as Fennyman) to play the part of the Apothecary. ‘A small but vital role,’ he enthuses. I feel the same line was most probably sold to Downton’s station master. Because not only did he remember selling Bates his return ticket to London roughly a year ago, but he also recalled selling Edith her ticket to King’s Cross. Where would the plot be without this elusive character I wonder?

Cora says something sensible
Cora: ‘Somehow we must find Edith, and we must see from her what she wants’. Since she left Downton of her own free will, I’d say it’s pretty obvious.

Food for thought
Why is everyone at Downton so slim when all they to do is gorge on Patmore’s pies?

Put a stick in it
Baxter walks in. Bates mumbles murderously: ‘I have to clean some shoes.’ Bates gets up. Bates grabs stick. Bates looks murderous. Bates exits to murder music. This is all getting very murderously predictable.

Daisy joins the real world
‘She had such hopes for the Labour government,’ sighs Mrs Patmore. Poor Daisy has no faith in the government. If only we knew what that felt like.

There’s something a-mish….
Does anyone else think that, dressed in their perpetual black, the Bates’s would look more at home in an Amish community?

…having said that, Im sure the Amish would be most horrified having to listen to their never-ending sex chat, so probably best they remain holed up in their cottage, tittering over contraceptive devices.

Other shit that went down
Bates is suddenly and randomly cleared of murder. How did that happen?
Mary is suddenly and hilariously cleared of Gillingham via a ‘staged tableau’. Why did that happen?
An anti-climax on both fronts.

Cora says something else sensible
‘Let’s come up with a totally stupid hair-brained scheme to get Marigold to Downton so we can provide Edith with enough of a subplot to see her through to the Christmas Special.’

Tom, thumbs up
Tom makes his ‘bastard’ comment and we roar with approval because at last he’s said something useful.

Love in a cold climate
Yes, I find Rose’s annoyment factor on par with that of Daisy’s, but I do think her and Atticus’ engagement was rather sweet. Probably because I was fantasising I was Rose and the dreamy Atticus was proposing to ME.

Bye-Isis
I think we can all guess why Isis was killed off… A damn shame – let’s face it, she was our favourite character. If only Fellowes had extended his absurd plotlines to the dog, I am certain the Labrador would have made a full recovery once Lord G started calling her by her lesser-known uncontroversial other name: Ikiss.

I can’t quite believe next week is the series finale. *sobs*

7/10

By Beenie Langley

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