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Season Four, Episode Seven

A nice picture. A boring story

Nice picture, boring story

Lady Mary eschews the benefits of any sort of academic education:
‘I’ve been married, I know everything’

Crappy Fashion
Edith’s outfit at one point makes her look like part of the bookcase. Edith, a wallflower? Unthinkable..
Mrs C says she feels hot. Wearing THAT hat love, hmm…

Dog
Isis gets a kiss. Woof.

Mary/Blake
Mr Blake finds Lady Mary ‘infuriating’. Wot?! My ears, my ears!

Mrs C/Tom
Mrs C worries about Tom’s ‘life away from the estate – do you have one?’
I suppose the real question is, Mrs C, do YOU?

Rose and her fashion clangers
Her blue dress is disgusting. I wonder if she’s considered the more stylish option of a sack?

Mary, of Blake
‘Why is he always so “superi-yah”?
Was there ever a finer example of pot calling a kettle black, Mez?

Mrs C/Dowager
“‘Nurse’ Mrs Crawley”. Is there no end to this woman’s talents?

Why never to trust a lady’s maid
Mary: ‘I’m not aloof am I?’
Anna: ‘Do you want me to answer truthfully… or as a lady’s maid?’
Give it all away Anna why don’t you

Pig episode (i)
Some chat about pigs

Edith pregnancy
Edith to Aunt: ‘[What will people think?] Have you met my niece and her charming bastard?!’
Well if they consider your child ‘charming’ that’s half the battle won Eeds.

Pig episode (ii)
Pigs again

Pig episode (iii)
More piggies

Pig episode (iv)
Animal Farm.

Pig episode (v)
Worth noting that Mary is more concerned about a dehydrated pig than she is her dying grandmother.

Pig episode (vi)
Mary: ‘Shall we drive the animals to it?’ And rename Downton, Blandings? It’s a thought.

Tom and his politickle-me-pink ‘political’ views (which we never quite get to the bottom of)
Tom: ‘I’m a man in search of a better world.’
Random political stranger, soon to be his mistress: ‘Why did you leave Ireland?’
Tom: ‘Sometimes I ask myself about that’
Sorry Tom, if my memory serves me, you were about to be arrested and so you abandoned your pregnant wife and ran away to England, where you were taken in by said pregnant wife’s family (incidentally the largest estate-owning one in ‘Yarkshire’) who (unfeasibly) encouraged you to pursue your socialism in spite of their raging Toryism…and still you dream of poverty in Ireland? Off you trot Tom, off you trot.

Pig episode (vii)
Mary, Blake and the pig
This must be the start of a jig…

Edith does real estate
‘I’ll be some funny woman living in Maida Vale.’
Given prices there these days, you should be so lucky.

Edith keeps baby
Yaaaay Edith. YAAY!

Edith decides to return to Downton
Rose: ‘Why should I leave? I’ve arranged things for tonight!’
You know what Rose? Fuck off.

Final piggy installment
Mary to Blake’s colleague: ‘You’ve heard about our adventures?’
Yes! Swimming in pig troughs and throwing mud at each other. We almost started wrestling, but Fellowes is saving that for next week.

Downton-Cluedo-Gosford Park
Bates. In the servants’ quarters. With a fork.

Runner up character: Edith. I feel compelled…
Character of the week: Isis

3/10

By Beenie Langley

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