Season Four, Episode Six

Rose JAZZES things up (groan)

Rose JAZZES things up (groan)

Lord G bemoaning Cora’s brother’s lack of business acumen
Lord G: ‘I always think of him as rather good at business, if nothing else…’
Sadly Lord G, you’re not even good at that.

Bates looking sinister by the staircase
Bates to Anna: ‘Your husband’s a brooder. And brooders brood.’
No Bates, chickens brood

Old Ma Crawley to the non-thief servant
Mrs C: ‘I’m not a lady, oh never mind’
No that’s right, you’re a… man?

Isis makes an appearance in the drawing room. Worth noting.

[Very boring first 15 minutes]

Bates and Anna decide to go on a date
How ROMANTI-bluurrr

Lady Grantham has a very serious decision to make
Maid: ‘What do you want to wear milady?’
Cora: ‘I suppose I should look as if I’ve made an effort’
Maid: ‘Elegant yet sensible!’
Cora: ‘I’ll let you choose… [Because I’m too fucking lazy to do so myself]’

Alfred and Daisy, Unrequited Love
AT last Fellowes gets it right. No last minute changes of hearts, no dramatic turnarounds… he leaves, she’s sad, the end.

Papers and Knives
Mrs Crawley on discovering the paper knife beneath her chair: ‘Eureka!’
No, Mrs C, ‘paper knife’!

Dowager and Mrs Crawley Baiting
I think there should be a spin-off show entitled Pride and Prejudice, The Downton Years. ‘Dowager Darcy’ has a definite ring to it, and since Mrs Crawley loves wearing plain clothes I think she’d make an excellent Lizzy.

With child
Edith, PREGNANT???? NOOOOOO!!!
[Sadly sarcasm doesn’t translate to page] Well done us and our last week’s prediction. Though, let’s face it, we’d be rather stupid NOT to have predicted it. All the telltale signs were there: she had sex and then visited the doctor. Had she bloated like a balloon, vomited at the dinner table and said she felt ‘kicking’ in her belly, we couldn’t have been more certain.

Bates discovers what it’s like to fight addiction
‘Every time I remember what you’ve been through, I want to murder.’
Maybe he should visit MA – Murderers Anonymous

The only interesting conversation at Lord G’s birthday supper
Mrs Crawley: ‘But why do you want to leave Downton?’
Tom Branson: ‘Because, like Dan Stevens, I have a warped idea of how famous/successful I shall be after it.’

Rose usurps Lord G’s birthday with a jazz band so she can get a snog. Nice and selfish; I like it.

Next week’s forecast:
Dowager falls ill and dies, Lord G goes to America with Tom and never comes back, Daisy and Mrs Patmore join Alfred in London, Thomas leaves to find the vanished O’Brien, Edith moves to London, Mary to York, and that’s it, there’s no one left.

Runner up character of the episode: Mrs Crawley. She had a few amusing moments.
Character of the episode: Daisy. That scowl is first class.

5/10

By Beenie Langley

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