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Season Four, Episode Five

Apologies for missing out two episodes but Trivial Pursuits doesn’t like to be predictable…
Things I thought about and typed on my blackberry about last night’s show:

Screen shot 2013-10-21 at 09.58.11

Bates…with stick

Hard done-by Bates looking like this in the opening credits:

Screen shot 2013-10-21 at 09.59.26

Bates…with apple

Lady G and the Orange Juice Mystery
Lady G: ‘What is this?’
Baxter: ‘Well I know Americans often drink orange juice with breakfast.’
Now if Lady G had never tasted orange juice before – odd since oranges have been around in this country since Shakespearean times but she’s an odd woman so it’s quite possible – then that would have been an understandable question. But the fact that she, seconds later, praises Baxter for ‘reminding me of times gone by’ – implying drinking the stuff had once been commonplace for her – makes her out to be one of the most ridiculous characters ever invented.
A bit like if any of us Brits married an American, moved to the US and one day our maid brings us a cup of tea, and we just stare at it, baffled, turn our noses up and sneer: ‘What is THAT?’

Dare I try it?

Dare I…dare I drink it?

Lord G being a complete tool to Mary
Basic gist of their chat:
Lord G: ‘Such a shame to turf people off our land who’ve lived on it for generations, just because they can’t pay rent.’
Mary: ‘What are we – a charity? Ha!’
Lord G: ‘Guess what? Lord Gillingham is engaged. Laugh at that bitch.’

Bates as murderer
Anna says she ‘knows Mr Bates’ and admits to Mrs Hughes that to get his revenge on her rapist (were he to find out), he would become a murderer. Then the scene ends with a shot of Bates listening in, scowl-face of menace, looking like an actual murderer. I tell you, the more this show goes on, the more I’m convinced he did kill his first wife – and therefore IS a murderer.

I hid behind a pillow at this point

The picture of innocence

All in a puff
Aah the kitchen’s all a-flurry because Alfred made some pastry and it didn’t taste like shit. Let’s laugh and clap and get out the machine-sewed bunting.

Edith goes to London
Why is it (in any sort of film or telly show), that when a woman goes to see a doctor we, the viewers, AUTOMATICALLY assume she might be pregnant? There are, after all, all manner of things that could be wrong with her. Of course though, the reason we assume this is because (as good old Fellowes reminds us) we are nearly always right. And because Anna and that other maid (that Tom slept with) escaped pregnancy, I’m predicting (writing this in the second ad break in case we find out by the end of tonight’s show) that yes, Edith IS pregnant.

It's possible she has an in-growing toe nail

It’s possible she has an in-growing toe nail

Mary not at all contrary
Not ANOTHER love interest for Mary?! Seriously, for an old bird stuck up naaarth with her parents, she really does defy the norm. God only knows what a black book she’d have, were she to have moved somewhere more upbeat, say, York.

Bates berates Mrs Hughes
Mrs Hughes tells Bates she won’t tell him what’s wrong with Anna.
Bates says ‘So be it’ and grabs his stick (supposedly to ‘leave’ but, psh, anything’s possible…)
And then suddenly she reveals EVERYTHING. I tell you, there is definitely something not right with this man.

(Although, having said that, the Bates and Anna hugging bit was, yes very sweet.)

Letters
Alfred opens his second letter all by himself without the help of Mrs Patmore and her (probably stolen) paper knife. Screw not knowing what Vichyssoise was, that’s what I call progress.

Murderous Bates II
Mrs Hughes: ‘I couldn’t tell you his name, not if you were to threaten me with a knife..’ [A paper one?!]
Bates: ‘I understand so I won’t press you. But be aware: nothing is over, nothing is done with.’ Bates walks off into the dark…with his stick…

Next week’s forecast..
Anna slips up over the valet’s name, Edith’s man leaves her and yes she’s pregnant, Mary has now got not one but two love interests …gosh…I never thought I’d say this but is Downton on the Uptown?

Runner up character of the week:
Anna – credit where credit’s due, good acting
Character of the week: Dowager Duchess – for that spectacular laugh after ‘Nobody cares as much about anything as you do’ – and some great Mrs Crawley bashing.

6/10

By Beenie Langley

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